Loneliness is a struggle I knew all too well. It followed me like a shadow, an unwelcome companion that seemed to never leave my side. Let me share my story with you.
When I was young, my family moved around quite a bit. We went from New York to Georgia and then back to New York. It was their final move back to Georgia during my college years that left the most profound mark on my life. As I continued my college journey in New York, with my family back in Georgia, and I felt the weight of their absence. It was already a challenging time for me to readjust to life in New York. I was separated from the familiar faces and places that had been my home for nearly a decade. I felt my personality shift from being the life of the party in comfortable spaces, to being the quiet one almost never comfortable in my own skin. I had always been reserved but before there were much more outlets for me to be more of myself. I kind of lost myself in all of the new.
Loneliness hit me hard. I had people around me—friends, acquaintances, and a church home, and still felt lonely. The connections I craved, deep bonds, were few and far between. Loneliness became my constant state of being, and it seemed like tears were a daily thing.
Loneliness showed up in ways I didn't expect and at the time didn’t realize. It pushed me into relationships that weren't healthy because they offered a temporary escape from the emptiness. It clouded my judgment and led me away from the truth of my identity and belonging in Christ Jesus. It was a constant ache, a persistent pain that left me feeling isolated and alienated. It seemed to suffocate me, fueling the belief that I was misunderstood and lacked support. This spiraled into a battle of self-doubt and constant wrestling with low self-esteem.
I thank God every day that my story didn’t end there. In the darkness of loneliness, there is hope. We can find peace and comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our struggles. Psalm 68:6 reminds us, "God sets the lonely in families; he leads out the prisoners with singing". Find encouragement in knowing that God is aware of our loneliness and that He holds the power to place us in supportive relationships and communities. His promise gives us hope that He wants to free us from loneliness by surrounding us with people who genuinely care for us.
Finding hope and overcoming loneliness takes time. For me, things started to change when I found a friend in Jesus. It was through this relationship that I began to address the root issues causing my loneliness. Opening my heart to God, I poured out my feelings and desires for companionship. I was honest in my prayers. I stopped being worried about saying the right thing and instead focused on being transparent. I sought God's guidance and learned to trust His plan for my life.
In His faithfulness, God began to work in my life. He pruned away the toxic relationships and led me to a new church home where I discovered new God-given friends who are a source of strength, support, and love. While things aren't perfect, I am confident that God's promises and plans for me will not return void. It must come to pass, even if it doesn’t look like it right now. And the same is true for you.
If you're feeling lonely, know that you're not alone. I understand what it's like to deal with loneliness and the toll it takes on your heart. I encourage you to reach out to God in prayer. Be honest about expressing your feelings and desires. Seek His guidance, and trust that He will lead you to the right place and to the right people. Building meaningful connections takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and others as you navigate the journey towards finding meaningful relationships.
Pray with me
Dear God, in times of loneliness, we turn to You. We know that You understand our deepest struggles and hurts. Help us to find peace and comfort in Your presence. Lead us to loving relationships and supportive communities that will uplift and nurture us. Give us strength and patience as we navigate the journey of building meaningful connections. We pray that you open our hearts to new friendships and help us to be good friends to others. May Your love and grace fill the empty spaces in our lives. Thank You for Your faithfulness, and we trust in Your plan to bring joy and companionship into our lives.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen
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